EXPERT PERSPECTIVES
A professional perspective on a topic from their area of expertise that they believe
every adult should understand.
Why Understanding Your Body Builds Confidence
A little less awkwardness, a little more “I know what’s going on down there.”
By Dr. Shruti Nikam, Consulting Gynecologist
My Dear Women,
My name is Dr. Shruti Nikam, and I have been practising as a consulting gynaecologist
for more than a decade.
Over the years, I have met hundreds of women who are incredibly well educated,
professionally successful, fiercely independent—and yet, when the conversation turns
towards their own bodies, there is often a sudden silence.
“Doctor… I wanted to ask you something.”
A pause.
A lowered voice.
And then, almost in a whisper:
“Is this normal?”
Sometimes I want to say, “My dear, it is your body. You are allowed to know what it is
doing!”
Because here is something I have realised through years of practice:
Knowing your body is not vanity. It is not overthinking. It is not being obsessed with
health. It is self-respect.
And surprisingly, it builds confidence.
Let me take you back to childhood for a moment…
Most of us did not exactly receive a user manual for our bodies.
I remember how, when we were children, bodily changes were often treated like
classified information.
If someone got their first period, suddenly the conversation became:
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“Keep this with you.”
“Be careful.”
“Now you are growing up.”
And somehow, menstruation became a combination of biology + embarrassment +
secrecy.
Nobody sat us down and said:
“Congratulations. Your uterus has started doing something completely normal. Here is
what is happening.”
Instead, many of us learnt about periods through whispered conversations between
cousins, friends and older sisters.
And then came the legendary school experience.
You see a spot of blood on your underwear.
Your heart stops.
You think you are injured.
You wonder whether you should tell your mother.
Then you finally gather the courage and say, “Mummy… something happened.”
And your mother looks at you calmly and says,
“You got your period.”
And you’re standing there thinking,
“Okay… could someone have mentioned this BEFORE the blood appeared?”
That was my first lesson in how little we are sometimes taught about our own bodies.
And unfortunately, for many women, the learning stops there.
Your body is constantly talking. Are you listening?
Your body gives you clues all the time.
Your menstrual cycle.
Your vaginal discharge.
Your breast changes.
Your skin.
Your hair.
Your sleep.
Your digestion.
Your mood.
Your energy.
Your libido.
Your pelvic discomfort.
Even the way you feel around your period.
These are not random events happening to an unfortunate person called “me.”
They are information.
Your body is communicating.
The problem is that many of us have become experts at ignoring the notifications.
Body: “Something feels different.”
You: “Maybe I’m just tired.”
Body: “This period is unusually painful.”
You: “Everyone gets period pain.”
Body: “The discharge has changed.”
You: “Maybe it’s because of the weather.”
Body: “Please pay attention.”
You: “I’ll Google it later.”
And then we Google it at 2 a.m. and convince ourselves we have seven rare diseases.
Please don’t do that either.
Confidence is knowing what is normal for YOU
We spend so much time learning other things.
How to manage money.
How to build a career.
How to use technology.
How to communicate professionally.
How to raise children.
How to cook.
How to run a household.
How to look after everyone else.
But somewhere along the way, we forget to learn:
How does my own body work?
When was my last period?
How long is my cycle usually?
What does my normal discharge look like?
Do I usually have pain?
Has my bleeding pattern changed?
Have I noticed a breast lump or persistent breast change?
Does sex hurt?
Do I feel unusually tired?
Has my weight changed without an obvious reason?
These aren’t embarrassing questions.
These are health questions.
And here is where confidence enters the picture.
There is a very different feeling between:
“Something is happening to me and I don’t know what it is.”
and
“I know my body well enough to understand what is happening—and I know when I
need help.”
That difference is confidence.
Not the Instagram kind.
Not the “I woke up at 5 a.m., drank green juice and conquered the world” kind.
I’m talking about quiet confidence.
The confidence of knowing your own menstrual cycle.
The confidence to ask your doctor an uncomfortable question.
The confidence to say, “This doesn’t feel normal for me.”
The confidence to discuss contraception without embarrassment.
The confidence to talk about painful sex.
The confidence to ask about vaginal health.
The confidence to seek help for fertility concerns.
The confidence to say no when something doesn’t feel right.
And perhaps most importantly—
the confidence to stop apologising for having a body.
One small habit I recommend to every woman
Observe before you worry.
Start tracking your menstrual cycle.
You don’t need a complicated spreadsheet worthy of NASA.
Just note:
* When your period starts
* How many days it lasts
* How heavy it is
* Your pain level
* Any unusual symptoms
* Major changes in mood, sleep or energy
Period tracking can help you recognise patterns and can also give your doctor useful
information if something changes.
Your body has patterns. Learn yours.
When your body says “something has changed,” listen.
Please don’t ignore persistent or significant symptoms simply because you have
become used to them.
Seek medical advice if your periods suddenly become very different, last more than
seven days, become unusually heavy, occur very frequently or disappear for several
months.
And if pain is severe, worsening, interfering with your daily life, or associated with other
concerning symptoms, don’t just keep saying,
“I have always been like this.”
Sometimes “I’ve always had it” is precisely the reason we need to investigate it.
Finally, a little message from your gynaecologist…
Dear woman,
Your body isn’t something you need to be embarrassed about.
It isn’t a machine that you are supposed to understand only when something goes
wrong.
It is your home.
Get curious about it.
Ask questions.
Notice changes.
Learn your menstrual cycle.
Understand your intimate health.
Talk to your doctor—even when the question feels awkward.
And please, don’t wait until your body is shouting before you start listening.
Because the more you understand your body, the less you fear it.
And the less you fear it, the more confidently you live in it.
So here’s to knowing ourselves a little better.
To fewer whispered questions.
To fewer “Is this normal?” Google searches at midnight.
And to women who can look at their own bodies with curiosity rather than fear.
Your body is not a mystery you were meant to live with.
It is a conversation.
Start listening.
